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this is me saying words i actually mean
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[12/12/09] |
my last post makes it seem like my whole world is crumbling done.
just to clarify, it's not. so don't jump to any conclusions.
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[12/12/09] |
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i need to go somewhere away from here, so i can free and clear my mind to figure out just exactly who i am. some days everything feels so perfect and i don't want anything to change. then there are those days where i don't even know who i am, let alone what i want. i finished my first semester of college and lets just say it ended better than the start. i started making friends and i think that is because i'm finally opening myself up to people. or maybe its the complete opposite and i'm pretending to be someone i'm not, i'm not really sure. i'm hoping that work will take my mind off of somethings. i don't even know if i want to go home and see all my "friends". i'm not sure if i'm overreacting but i really just cant help it sometimes.
i'm not sure what i'm going to be eating for the next couple of days, let alone if i even will. i spent almost all my money and i'm staying at my brothers apartment and i have no clue when i'll be going home for christmas. i wish all things came easy and clear.
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[11/09/09] |
worst night in awhile.
things are better now though.
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[11/03/09] |
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I don't need anybody, except you.
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[10/28/09] |
Why do I never update anymore? My birthday was on the 20th and my birthday weekend was amazing. Lee took me to Chili's on the 19th, then on the 20th we went to Takeovr at Roxy and it was ridiculously fun. I also had my birthday with my mom at home, then my dad took me and Lee out to Kobes with Ashleigh and Mary. Apparently, he's taking me and Lee to Vegas in a few weeks. I'm incredibly excited because I've always wanted to go. We're staying in his condo and it's gonna be sick. Also, me and all my friends went to Hard Rock for my birthday and it was really fun except for accidently eating bacon. After, Corinne, Lee, Zac and I went to Magical Midway and went on some rides and it was awesome. So I had a long, drawn out birthday, but it was probably my favorite birthday, besides my 17th when I went to see B in North Carolina.
Last night I met up with Brie and Luis for the AP Tour at House of Blues. We walked around downtown disney, then Luis had to go get ready and we met up with Neil and Anthony. Luis did so good and the crowd was really into it, so that was good. Then he met with some fans, then came over and was like, "You still wanna go eat?". So we left and went to this place called Bongos and it was prettty good, cept Luis was stealin' my fries. We all talked about The Rocket Summer, other bands, paranormal activity, and how bryce lost/broke two of his thousand dollar ear piece things. Then Brie forgot her card so she ran to her car to get it and me and Luis talked about my OCD and how he is a horrible driver. Then Brie came back, we paid and then left. I got home around ten and then went to Lee's. Life has been treating me pretty well, except for the fact that I need a job and don't know where to begin to look. I guess I'll try the mall.. But I don't know. I applied at Urban awhile ago, but they aren't really hiring right now. I've been volunteering at Lowry Park Zoo and it's been awesome. I love the animals there and I love cleaning up after them, haha.
I hope everyone's been doing good. I still don't really recognize me when I look in the mirror because of my hair. I miss my blonde hair, but it's whatever.
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[10/15/09] |
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Don't ask why, but I hate college. I feel really alone and if it wasn't for lee i don't know what I'd do. I've been getting a little frustrated lately. Everyone is different and i'm trying to embrace it but it's really hard to. I'm just so ready to give into everything, but I know if i do i'll let myself down completely.
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[09/08/09] |
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It hurts being the only one whose not happy.
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[06/26/09] |
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things are becoming so real and falling into place. lee moves to tampa july 1st and that makes me even more secure in our relationship, knowing that he'd move for me. some bs went down with people and i really don't understand how someone could be such an asshole and so rude. but whatever, karma will get to him. i might not know a lot, but im positive with lee. we grow even more comfortable with each other ever day. i move in august and i'll be working and visiting lee in the mean time. me and lee have been together almost for a half of a year and i'm so so happy with him. I can't wait to move to tampa and start a new life with him and all the new people i'll meet.
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[06/09/09] |
falling in love with this book.
it has real love letters from people. they are so adorable and i love reading them. some of them are so random, and so freaking cute. some are on napkins, some are in planners, some are sent in the mail. i think this is my favorite book cause i like reading them.
( cute cute cute )
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deathcab_love's journal